i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
