i think my mom watched the whole time
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
