We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
