Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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