She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
