if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
