i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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