her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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