worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
