He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
