this just has baby written all over it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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