he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she pinky promised me she was 18
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
