Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
