you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
