i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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