Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
