Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
