I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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