Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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