didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
