If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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