Hey man sorry I got all grabby
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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