I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
