NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's never too late to be topless.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
