Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
