He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dignity is for republicans.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
try to milk me bitch
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