last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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