I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
