dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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