I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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