Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
if i can run in heels then i can drive
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
