Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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