i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
a search helicopter?!
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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