The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
