you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
