it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
