I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Randomize
