I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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