there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
