Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
