That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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