he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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