I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
