This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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