Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
