so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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