There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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