I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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