Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Boobs speak an international language.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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