Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
