Can i not drive my cunt home
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Green mimosas i think yes
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
