I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
