She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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