it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize