Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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