No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
