I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
