When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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