remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
