ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
