Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
