I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Randomize
