I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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