I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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