Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize