He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
