All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
