Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
